My mother taught me...我母親教會我的事，文章以幽默詼諧的手法寫了從母親的每一句話中學(xué)會的道理，盡管有的真的很搞笑，但是如果每個孩子都能明白母親每句話背后的含義，那母親會是多么開心呢？

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
母親教會我如何珍惜他人辛苦勞動：

"If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
“如果你們要打架，到外邊打去我剛整理好房間！”

My mother taught me RELIGION
母親教會我什么是宗教：

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
“你最好祈禱那個東西能從地毯下冒出來?！?br />
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
母親教會我什么是時間旅行：

"If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
“你要是不改，我把你一把推到下周三！”(意為：不讓過周末。)

My mother taught me LOGIC
母親教會我什么是邏輯：

"Because I said so, that’s why."
“為什么？因為我就是這么說的！”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
母親教會我什么是遠(yuǎn)見：

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident."
“一定要穿干凈內(nèi)衣，以防萬一你遇到事故?！?br />
My mother taught me IRONY
母親教會我什么是諷刺：

"Keep laughing and I’ll give ou something to cry about."
“接著笑吧，我讓你一會兒哭不出來”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
母親教會我什么是柔體雜技：

"Will you ’look’ at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
“你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥！”

My mother taught me about STAMINA
母親教會我什么是耐力：

"You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished."
“坐在那兒，直到把所有的菠菜吃完。”

My mother taught me about WEATHER
母親教會我如何識天氣：

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
“好像有龍卷風(fēng)席卷過你的房間?！?br />
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
母親教會我如何解決物理學(xué)問題：

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
“如果我高聲叫喊，是因為我看見有一顆流星正朝你俯沖而來，那你會不會聽我的話？”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
母親教會我什么是偽善：

"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times - Don’t exaggerate!"
“如果我曾告訴過你一次，我實際上已告訴過你百萬次不許夸張!”

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
母親教會我什么是生命的輪回：

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
“是我把你帶來這個世界的，我也可以讓你離開?！?br />
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
母親教會我什么是行為矯正：

"Stop acting like your father!"
“別像你父親那樣做！”

My mother taught me about ENVY
母親教會我什么是嫉妒：

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!"
“這世界上有數(shù)百萬不幸的孩子，他們可沒有你這么好的父母?！?