Directions 11

Study the following pictures carefully and write an essay in which you should:
1. describe the two pictures,
2. give the reasons of such a phenomenon, and
3. list possible solutions.
You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

審題：

這篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)很典型，而選擇的寫法卻很特殊——我們選擇兼顧圖畫所體現(xiàn)的兩方面的問題，即自私和違反規(guī)則兩個方面。如果第一段這樣來點(diǎn)明，那么第二段和第三段均應(yīng)這樣展開，使文章形成一個有機(jī)的整體。

Sample:

In the first picture, two persons are talking loudly in the library as if they were the only persons there. In the second picture, a man is talking happily on the phone in the cinema, while a film is on. From these two pictures, we come across such people who are so selfish as to always think of themselves instead of others on the one hand, and who are so bold as to defy those rules and regulations on the other hand.

Why do they behave in this way? On the one hand, they are brought up in such a way as to take their own interests into consideration whenever anything arises. This may not be the original purpose of parents and teachers, but this is largely the result of today’s education. Children learn from what adults do, not what they say. Years of teaching in class and family may tell them how to do, but hours of reallife practice may be more influential. On the other hand, they are brought up in such a way as not to take rules and regulations seriously. In their belief, rules and regulations only restrain those silly people, and the violation of them can be both exciting and admirable.

To solve this problem, all of us have a long way to go. First, teachers and parents should act in such a way to teach young children to always take others into consideration whenever they take action. Second, the authorities should severely punish anyone who violates rules and regulations. To protect the rights of more people, such punishment is more than necessary.

點(diǎn)評：

第一段先用兩句話描述兩幅圖畫，而后用一句話做總結(jié)，用on the one hand和on the other hand將問題的兩個方面清晰地表達(dá)了出來。
第二段的首句沒有使用傳統(tǒng)的表示原因的模板句，如The reasons for this phenomenon are twofold / threefold.而是用了一個設(shè)問句，使行文顯得生動活潑。之后分兩個方面來說明為何他們會自私和不遵守規(guī)則。
第三段首句是典型的辦法類的模板句。而后分兩方面來說解決問題的辦法，與第一段、第二段嚴(yán)格對應(yīng)。

心得：

這篇文章給我們留下的最大的印象就是前后呼應(yīng)，三段采用了同樣的結(jié)構(gòu)，這樣讀來自然覺得流暢。
就句子寫作而言，內(nèi)部突出對比的句子總是給人留下深刻的印象，下面我們就以第二段的第一點(diǎn)為例來說明。這一點(diǎn)分四句話，后三句都屬于句內(nèi)表示對比的情形。第二句話一針見血——這不一定是父母和老師的初衷，但卻是今天教育的結(jié)果。大家自然要想，為何結(jié)果偏離了初衷呢？下面接著說，孩子們學(xué)的是大人的做法，而不是說法。這句話簡練、深刻。下面一句最為精彩，多年的學(xué)校和家庭教育告訴他們?nèi)绾稳プ觯鴶?shù)小時的實(shí)踐可能更加有影響力。這明確地說明，只有投入了真實(shí)的生活之中，孩子們才能真正有所體會，才能真正成長。沒有真實(shí)生活的洗禮，孩子們又怎能了解人生的真理，怎能為他人考慮呢？
好的句子是深入思索（思想方面）和不斷練習(xí)（語言方面）相結(jié)合的結(jié)果，只要我們不懈努力，總有達(dá)到“何意百煉鋼，化為繞指柔”的那一天。